Grief & Healing

I have been away for a while… today marks 2 weeks since my grandfather passed away.  I loved him dearly.  We didn’t always see eye to eye on things, but that is normal with anyone, even family… it seems that as every day passes by, more and more memories are brought to my attention…

As a baseball/softball lover, you would always find my Pa-Pa at my softball games, cheering me on.  While I was pitching and while I was batting.  If you know me well, you know that pitching for Fastpitch Softball was my life… I lived it, dreamed it, and spent many many hours perfecting my pitches.  My Pa-Pa was always there when he could be, and if he wasn’t there, he was there in spirit.

I remember practicing one afternoon, when he had took me to practice.  I was so excited, and overjoyed at being on the mound.  When it came my time to bat, he was there cheering me on… even at practice.  I had made contact with the pitch and it was a foul ball… he was a lover of the sport and even at the young age of about 65, he was going to interact with the game.  I remember being so guilty of my Pa-Pa getting hurt.  I had fouled the pitch off, and he was trying to catch it..  With him trying to catch my foul ball, he fell and broke his glasses.  It broke my heart knowing that he got hurt because of me. It wasn’t until years later, that I realized, he never complained about having to get new glasses, or getting hurt… he was in his element.  His “girls” were his world.  He had given up many years before trying to catch for me…. Not to toot my own horn, but my love of pitching, had reached past his years.  He always told everyone that my pitching could whip anyone, especially any boy. He and my Granny had not raised some “sissy girls”.  We were brought up to take up for ourselves.

My Pa-Pa was always there for us.  Whether on the field or off the field.  It was a known fact “not to mess with his girls.”  You never get to old for a Pa-Pa to take up for you.  He always told me, “I may be old, but no one is going to hurt my babies.”

Today has been 2 weeks since Pa-Pa has left us, and gone home to be with his Lord and Savior and his other loved ones in Heaven.  I miss you as much today, as I did when you passed on.  Fridays are now very hard for me to bear with, but I know that he’s better off, and he’s now with my Great Grandparents and Uncle Shorty that have gone on before…

I remember cutting their grass for them, and he insisted that having “chewing tobacco” in my mouth would help me cut the grass. LOL.  I turned green, and about lost my breakfast and my lunch that day. 🙂

I drove by his grave on Thursday, and I was overwhelmed with pain.  I love him so much, and it doesn’t seem real that he’s gone.  I am grateful that I got to say I loved him, before he passed… but it doesn’t take the hurt away.  Only God can help ease my pain.  Shelby the “Georgia Peach Princess” is really taking his death hard.  She’s 5, but saw him almost every day of her life.  She has dreamed of him, and my heart aches for her.  In her lifetime, she has lost 3 Great Grandfathers.  I know that she will see him again, but until then, I pray that she finds peace and comfort in the Lord.

Tell the ones you love them every time you leave, because tomorrow isn’t promised.  Rest in peace Pa-Pa I will see you soon.  Until then, we will stay strong as you raised us to be.  Family is the main priority besides God.  Stay close to your family, and do all that you can with them, and for them.

Please pray for our family during our time of loss.  2 weeks seems like an eternity for us, but I know that our days are mere seconds to what he is experiencing now.

We love you Pa-Pa, and thank you for all that you did for us.  Our family is not the same without you, but you raised some strong willed girls, who aren’t afraid to take on the world.  Until I see you again, Shelby & I love you.


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